Sharktopus

Let’s get right to the point – Sharktopus is a pretty terrible movie. But that’s kinda the whole point (at least, I hope it was intended). It’s the kind of movie you watch with a group of friends, laughing and mocking how bad it is. My friends and I actually watched for a while with no sound, and didn’t miss a single piece of plot, and even managed to correctly predict some dialogue (“Oh. My. God.”)

On the topic of plot – there’s not much of it, and what there is barely makes sense, but if for some reason you want to watch it for the plot, stop reading now. Vast oceans of spoilers ahead.

Obviously, there’s a shark/octopus hybrid monster. It’s named “S-11”, genetically engineered by a military contractor, and it’s gone on a killing spree because the electronic remote control was only attached with sticky tape. So, the super rich mad scientist guy sends his daughter and a bunch of lackeys out to chase it, while he swills cognac and gets angry on his luxury superyacht. Oh, and by the way, the monster has hyper-agression DNA, which is obvious to everyone except the daughter, who thinks dear old Dad wouldn’t fiddle with the genetic blueprint she designed (he eventually reveals that he did, but only after half of the hunting team is slain). You can probably already predict how it ends.

If the monster-chase plot isn’t enough to keep you enthralled, there’s some side plots with the minor characters. Our favourite was the sexual innuendo between Santos and Andy (never did figure out if it was deliberately homosexual or a failed attempt to make Andy seem like a ladies man). The hack TV journalist covering the story is as annoying as they normally are, and the sleazy radio presenter is killed by pure hubris, his final words “There is no such thing as a sharktopus.”

Technically, the cinematography seems to be directed by a teenage boy, with half the shots beginning close-up on a woman’s breasts or butt. The CGI is what you’d expect, it’s obviously nowhere near the same standard as a hollywood blockbuster, the sharktopus is obviously CGI but it’s not completely terrible (until the explosion, that was terrible).

Overall, I wouldn’t waste any time in seeking out Sharktopus, but if you’ve got a group of friends in the mood to half-watch a bad movie, it fits the bill.

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Sharktopus

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